The Myers-Briggs® personality types that most often hide their needs

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We like to pretend that self-awareness is simple. That knowing what we want — and saying it — is merely a matter of will, confidence, or good communication skills.

However, this is not how people actually function.
Every conversation, every relationship, every unmet need is based on a complex cognitive architecture.
While personality not only shapes our perception of the world, it also influences the clarity with which we recognize our own desires and the ease with which we can express them. As a MBTI® practitioner, I observe daily clients who struggle to express their needs and have them met. Certain personality types encounter these obstacles more frequently, while others find it easier to cope. Understanding these dynamics can transform the way we navigate our personal and professional interactions.

In my survey of over 50,000 people covering the sixteen Myers-Briggs® types, I identified two main psychological obstacles that prevent individuals from expressing their needs:

1. Internal uncertainty (Low self-awareness) :
   • “I don’t know what I want.”
   • Emotional ambiguity, overwhelm.
   • Changing priorities, fear of selfishness.
2. “I don’t know what I want.”
3. Emotional ambiguity, overwhelm.
4. Changing priorities, fear of selfishness.
5. External inhibition (Self-censorship) :
   • “I know what I want, but I don’t say it.”
   • Fear of confrontation, desire to please others.
   • Social discomfort, fear of burdening others.
6. “I know what I want, but I don’t say it.”
7. Fear of confrontation, desire to please others.
8. Social discomfort, fear of burdening others.

These obstacles vary by personality types. For example, extraverts are generally more comfortable expressing their needs, with 66% finding it easy, compared to only 26% of introverts. This difference underscores the impact of energy orientation on the ability to communicate desires.

Let’s analyze a few specific types and their challenges:

Types That Have the Most Difficulty Expressing Their Desires

ISTJ — 17.24% find it easy to express their desires

ISTJs generally know what they want (79%), but hesitate to say it due to a strong sense of duty. They prefer to silently adjust their own needs or those of others rather than disturb harmony.

INFJ — 17.5% find it easy to express their desires

INFJs are attentive to the emotions of others, which leads them to doubt the relevance or reaction of those around them regarding their own needs, thus generating anxiety regarding the expression of their desires.

INFP — 19.51% find it easy to express their desires

With a rich emotional awareness, INFPs struggle to translate their feelings into words, often fearing being misunderstood or rejected.

Understanding how your personality type influences your ability to express your needs can be a first step toward better communication and more satisfying relationships. By recognizing the tendencies specific to your type, you can develop strategies to overcome the internal and external obstacles that hold you back.

The Myers-Briggs® personality types that most often hide their needs are generally introverts and those who prioritize thinking over feeling. Among them, ISTJ, INFJ, and INFP stand out in particular. These individuals possess a strong internal clarity about their desires but experience difficulties expressing them openly. They often fear disturbing social harmony, appearing selfish, or creating conflicts.

ISTJs, for example, balance their responsibilities with their personal needs, often preferring to adjust or ignore their desires to maintain stability. INFJs feel a strong sensitivity to the emotions of others, which leads them to minimize their own needs to preserve harmony. INFPs, on the other hand, find it difficult to translate their rich emotional desires into words, fearing being misunderstood or rejected.

These tendencies are influenced by their cognitive architecture, which shapes not only their perception of the world but also their ability to recognize and clearly express their own desires. Understanding these dynamics allows for a better understanding of why certain personality types struggle to communicate their needs.

Understanding the dynamics of the Myers-Briggs® personality types can offer valuable perspectives on human interactions. Some types, in particular, struggle to express their needs, which can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations in both personal and professional relationships. This article delves deeply into the Myers-Briggs® types that most often hide their needs, analyzing the reasons behind this behavior and proposing strategies to foster more open and authentic communication.

Why do some types hide their needs?

Hiding one’s needs is not always a conscious choice. For many Myers-Briggs® personality types, it stems from deeply rooted psychological mechanisms. For example, some may fear rejection or confrontation, while others may feel their needs are less important than those of others. This reluctance can also be linked to low self-esteem or a fear of being perceived as selfish. Additionally, culture and family environment play a crucial role in how an individual expresses their needs. By understanding these motivations, it becomes easier to develop approaches to encourage more open and balanced communication. To delve deeper into self-sabotage according to your personality type, refer to this article.

The psychological obstacles to expressing needs

Two main obstacles often prevent individuals from expressing their desires: internal uncertainty and external inhibition. Internal uncertainty manifests as doubts about what one truly wants, often exacerbated by overanalysis or changing priorities. In contrast, external inhibition relates to fear of others’ reactions, such as conflict or judgment. These obstacles can be particularly pronounced in certain Myers-Briggs® types, influencing their ability to effectively communicate their needs. Understanding these barriers is essential for developing strategies to overcome them and encourage more authentic communication.

Personality types most prone to hiding their needs

Among the sixteen Myers-Briggs® types, some stand out for their tendency to conceal their needs. These types often share common characteristics, such as an orientation towards others, a reluctance to express vulnerability, or a strong self-discipline. For example, ISTJs and INFJs prioritize stability and harmony, which may lead them to suppress their own desires to avoid conflicts. Similarly, INFPs and ISFJs focus on the emotions and needs of others, often at the expense of their own. Understanding these specific tendencies allows for a better understanding of the challenges these individuals face and adapting communication approaches accordingly.

ISTJ and the reluctance to express desires

ISTJs are known for their keen sense of duty and responsibility. Although they generally know what they want, as evidenced by 79% of them knowing their needs daily, only 17% feel comfortable expressing them. This reluctance is often motivated by a fear of appearing selfish or disrupting the established order. ISTJs often prefer to solve problems on their own rather than seek help, which can lead them to neglect their own needs. By learning to balance their sense of duty with expressing their personal desires, ISTJs can improve their relationships and overall well-being.

INFJ and prioritizing others’ needs

INFJs are deeply empathetic individuals, always attuned to the emotions and needs of others. While 59% of them recognize their own needs, only 17.5% feel comfortable expressing them. This tendency to prioritize the needs of others can lead them to ignore their own desires, resulting in frustration and resentment. INFJs often fear that expressing their needs might disrupt harmony or not be understood. By developing assertive communication skills, INFJs can learn to express their needs while maintaining harmonious relationships.

INFP and emotional ambiguity

INFPs possess a rich emotional awareness, but expressing these emotions in words can be complex. With only 46% knowing what they want daily and 19.5% comfortable expressing it, INFPs often struggle with emotional ambiguity. They may feel vulnerable or fear that their needs will be misunderstood or rejected. Additionally, difficulty articulating their desires can lead them to avoid confrontations, preferring to adapt to others’ expectations. By learning to clarify their emotions and express them constructively, INFPs can better meet their own needs while maintaining authentic relationships.

ISFJ and the tendency towards personal sacrifice

ISFJs are renowned for their dedication to others and concern for collective well-being. While 74% of them know their internal needs, only 20.8% express them easily. This tendency towards personal sacrifice is often motivated by the desire not to impose burdens on others or a sense of guilt about caring for themselves. ISFJs often prefer to meet the needs of others before their own, which can lead to overwhelm and emotional fatigue. By recognizing the importance of their own needs and learning to express them, ISFJs can find a better balance between giving and receiving in their relationships.

Strategies to encourage the expression of needs

To help Myers-Briggs® types who hide their needs express them more openly, several strategies can be implemented. First, encouraging greater self-awareness through tools like personality tests or coaching sessions can help identify and clarify personal needs. Secondly, creating a safe and non-judgmental environment where individuals feel free to share their desires without fear of retaliation or rejection is essential. Additionally, teaching assertive communication skills allows individuals to express their needs clearly and respectfully. Finally, promoting empathy and mutual understanding in relationships can strengthen trust and facilitate more open and honest communication.

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